Nicole Davies

Hello! My name is Nicole and I am a Marine spouse and mother of three daughters, ages 16, 10, and 7. I have been a stay-at-home mom most of their lives while also pursuing my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In the past I have worked as a social worker for child welfare in the state of Pennsylvania. I have also taught preschool for ages 2.5 - 4. During my master’s program I interned as a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital working with adults, teens, and kids. My ultimate goal is to become an independently licensed therapist. Our family has lived in Onslow County for 10 of the last 15 years, which has given my children a stability that is rare among military families. While NC has been my home for several years now, I am still a Yankee at heart! I will always choose a Philly cheesesteak over a pulled-pork sandwich. In addition to taking care of my family and my educational pursuits, I enjoy traveling to destinations near and far; a novel in which I can get lost; and chatting with friends over a good cup of coffee.

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Battling to Bonding

Ah, sibling rivalry.  It’s the stuff of parental nightmares.  It’s been making parents miserable for generations.  I was reminded of this as I spent a week at the beach with my parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and my own darling offspring.  As we watched my girls bicker and listened to them complain about each other, my cousins and I couldn’t help but remember our own epic battles growing up.

I was one of three girls and my aunt and uncle had two girls.  I think it’s safe to say we five girls drove our parents nearly crazy with our bickering and complaining about our siblings.  There were occasions when the bickering led to full on warfare in our homes.  My cousins had some epic battles that live on in family lore.  My sisters and I can bring back memories of one of our more dramatic fights with just a mention of “the bowl.”  Yes, moving a bowl caused a fight so big that the three of us remember it about 25 years later.  When we were teenagers, I don’t think any of us could imagine a day when we would be really excited about the chance to spend a week together.

It’s no surprise that it’s often hard for siblings to live together.  Siblings often have very different personalities and interests and they’re competing for resources and attention from their parents, so you’re bound to have conflict.  And while you can require a certain level of respect and kindness, you sure can’t make siblings like each other.  It’s sad for us parents to watch our kids bicker and fight, even if we know it’s a pretty natural phenomenon.

As I spent the week with my extended family and watched my girls bicker while my cousins and my sisters and I felt so glad to be able to spend time together, I felt a little glimmer of hope.  I hope that time and living apart and gaining some perspective and maturity will help my girls to appreciate each other more and accept each other’s differences.  My sisters and I communicate with each other every day.  We live for those times when we can be together.  We support and respect each other.

I like to imagine a day when my girls realize just how important those sibling bonds really are.

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