Chris Barnes

My name is Chris Barnes. While MomTalk traditionally includes “conversations for, by and about mothers” of various aged children, I am happy to add my voice to this community as a dad. My wife and I are both public school educators. We live and work in Jacksonville, NC. I am a school administrator and my wife works with special needs children. We are both products of military families. We have three girls... or soon will. Our youngest is 3 and we have one on the way. Our oldest, Chan, just turned 13 and is a middle schooler (7th grade). Having a teenager in middle school and working with middle school aged students, I hope to be able to offer a perspective about parenting that is helpful to mothers… and fathers too here in Middleville! Back in the day we called it Junior High School… the school that was really a smaller or younger version of High School. For quite a while now we’ve called it “middle” school. I think “middle” school may be the better description of the age of the children if not the structure of the school itself. These kids, usually between the ages of 12 and 14, are really in the MIDDLE. No longer the little kids in the house. Not yet big enough to drive and be out and about on their own. Our middle school -aged children face a host of issues that are no different than when our parents and grandparents were early teens (puberty and body issues; the difficulty of relationships- teen to teen and teen to parent; goals and getting ready for the future). But they do face a set of really difficult challenges that my parents never faced (cyberbullying, texting and sexting, early and frequent exposure to destructive imagery related to sex, drugs, and alcohol; mental health issues; eating disorders…). With so many challenges, I appreciate the ability to read what other parents think about these issues at MomTalk and read what the experts say about related medical issues at O’Healthy . Middleville gives me an opportunity to discuss the challenges and triumphs of parenting a “middle” kid. With more than one child in the house, the things I write will be influenced by my experiences with all of my children and the children I work with on a daily basis.

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More Cowbell

August 15th, 2012 Karen Holder

It’s official. School activities are in full swing. How do I know? I know because I spent a Thursday night out at the football field helping raise funds for the cheer leading team.

It’s a fact of life that these days you have to spend some money if your kid participates in school sports. There are uniform and warm-ups and shoes and all sorts of other things to buy. And for cheer leading there are also competition fees. The school pays for some things, but parents are called on to take care of the rest. And in this economic climate that’s not easy for everybody. So fundraising is a way of life for parents whose kids want to play.

I’m not a big fan of sending kids out door to door to sell stuff. But the reality is that fundraising is a necessary evil, so we parents try to find ways to do it. Which is what had me sitting in the blazing heat one night last week, cutting vinyl letters to put on cowbells to raise a few dollars for our cheer team.

I have to admit I am that crazy mom in the football stands ringing the cowbell whenever our team does something good. I’m a huge fan of the cowbell because it takes the place of the screaming and yelling I’d be doing otherwise, so I can leave the game without a sore throat! It’s much easier on the hands than clapping for hours, too. And my cowbell is all decked out with my kid’s name and a cute ribbon handle. Sadly, my cowbell has more style than it’s owner!

I thought everybody in the stands probably needed to have a fancy cowbell, so I suggested that would be a good fundraiser for our team. And it does make sense for the cheerleaders to sell stuff that helps the folks in the stands show some spirit, right? And let’s face it…if everybody in the stadium is ringing their bells like crazy people I look a little more normal, right? Win-win.

I had lots of company that night. The event was sponsored by the athletic booster club in an effort to raise some funds and get folks excited about a new year of high school sports. It was pretty nice to see a whole bunch of teenagers milling about having fun while a whole bunch of their parents and coaches and teachers and administrators tried to make it possible for them to pursue their sports.

It takes a village to raise our kids. And some cowbell. A whole lot of cowbell.

4 Comments on “More Cowbell”

tia August 15th, 2012 9:49 pm
I love the idea of a personalized cowbell! We did a lot of fundraising for wrestling this summer! I know what you mean when you say fundraising at times its a “Way of life for those parents with kids in sports.” I enjoy helping because it benefits the kids in many ways!
Karen August 15th, 2012 10:00 pm
I enjoy helping with that sort of thing because it’s fun to be in the middle of what the kids are doing. The girls worked along-side us old people. I love the energy they bring to everything they do. Glad to hear you’re a cowbell person, too!
Paula Patselas August 15th, 2012 11:29 pm
Well, lo and behold, I took my new cowbell out to the season opener soccer match tonight and before I could get through the gate, someone informed me that indeed some schools have banned cowbells during athletic play due to its obnoxious noise! I was deflated as I thought it is just the cutest idea….. so I went along meekly with my new cowbell and showed it off to some soccer parents – had a few takers, some not interested. I gave out your name, ph number and email Karen!! ( you instigator!)
Karen August 16th, 2012 12:11 am
Most of what I do should be outlawed and banned! All the cool parents like cowbells.