Nicole Davies

Hello! My name is Nicole and I am a Marine spouse and mother of three daughters, ages 16, 10, and 7. I have been a stay-at-home mom most of their lives while also pursuing my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In the past I have worked as a social worker for child welfare in the state of Pennsylvania. I have also taught preschool for ages 2.5 - 4. During my master’s program I interned as a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital working with adults, teens, and kids. My ultimate goal is to become an independently licensed therapist. Our family has lived in Onslow County for 10 of the last 15 years, which has given my children a stability that is rare among military families. While NC has been my home for several years now, I am still a Yankee at heart! I will always choose a Philly cheesesteak over a pulled-pork sandwich. In addition to taking care of my family and my educational pursuits, I enjoy traveling to destinations near and far; a novel in which I can get lost; and chatting with friends over a good cup of coffee.

tia-bandavanis

Younger Teens Hanging Out With Older Teens

Is It Okay For Younger Teens To Hang Out With Older Teens?

Is it okay for younger teens to hang out with older teens?  For instance, if your teen is a freshman or sophomore, is it okay for them to hang out with a senior?  We all know how teens like to hang out at the mall, go to the movies, attend high school games, and go out to eat.

What happens when your teen becomes friends with teens who are older and more mature?   Do you let your teen go with an older crowd of friends or do you tell your teen to stick with others who are closer to their age?

My son was friends with a senior and honestly, at first I was a little concerned.  My first thought was an older teen could possibly pose some influences, which my son may seem as “cool”.  I guess you could say it was the fear of peer pressure, and the greater influences the older teen may have on my son.

However, as a parent I know the importance of keeping the lines of communication open.  I could easily talk to my son about resisting negative peer pressure and just hope he makes the right choices based on what we discuss.   I don’t have a problem with my teen hanging out with older teens as long as I meet his friends, and my son follows my rules.

How do you feel about your teen hanging out with older teens?  Do you allow your teen to hang out with older teens? What are your thoughts?

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5 Comments on “Younger Teens Hanging Out With Older Teens”

  • Karen Holder March 19th, 2012 10:15 am

    I have been through the same fears, Tia. When Katie made the varsity cheer squad at the end of 8th grade, I knew she’d be spending a lot of time with much older girls. The idea of my 14 year old hanging out with 18 year old girls was frightening. But those were some really great girls. I am sure Katie learned more good habits from them than bad. They set a really great example for her as she started her high school career. I think age is a much less important factor than character when our teens choose friends. Now that Katie’s a junior and driving, I’m sure other mothers of underclassmen are a little afraid of sending their kids off with mine!

  • tia March 20th, 2012 8:07 am

    Hi Karen, I have to agree, it’s not so much the age difference, but the person’s character. Im always aware of who my teen is hanging out with, and I know the kids are good teens. Thanks for your comment. It makes me feel better to know that it’s character to be watchful for and not so much the age. Have a great day, Tia

  • MJ Rogers March 19th, 2013 11:27 pm

    All three of these examples are same gender younger teen hanging out with same gender older teen. What about when your freshman girl wants to hang out with senior guys? This is what my husband and I are struggling with. We have two older boys in college and this is still new to us. Our fifteen year old daughter is beautiful and physically developed, but maturity wise she is a fifteen year old girl. Since the beginning of this year (freshman) she has wanted to hang out with seniors, male and female. Now all the senior girls are talking about prom and of course our daughter wants to be part of the fun, so she is hoping that a junior or senior boy will ask her so she can attend. Chances are a junior or senior boy will ask her, is it appropriate for a freshman girl to go to prom with a senior boy? My daughter says its not dating, its just the prom, huh?

  • Kelsey August 14th, 2014 4:17 pm

    I have a 12 year old daughter, Rebecca, and she prefers hanging out with older girls age 16. I don’t mind Rebecca hanging with with older kids as long as she makes good decisions. Like, I teach her to not hang out with bad kids who try selling drugs and show their private parts. She has some classmates who don’t want her hanging out with much older teens though. I think 12 year olds are old enough to choose between wrong and right. Then the classmates pointed out that when Rebecca is 14 those girls will be young adults ages 18. Rebecca has known those older teens ever since she’s a third grader and 8 years old..

  • Dorie Loo July 26th, 2016 11:56 pm

    My daughter is a freshman 14 years old on the varsity cheer team at her high school. Should I let her hang out with seniors on the team that drive. I told her she needs to hang out with girls her own age and she does not agree. She is already sneaking I caught her driving with a senior and took her phone and computer away and told her we will have to start over with the trust. Please someone that has gone though this let me know what you have done .

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