Quitting For Good
The stress of night classes outweighed the benefit.
A few weeks ago I took advantage of the local community college’s very affordable rates and signed up for two classes that had interested me. For a some time now, I told myself I’d like to take those classes. So when push came to shove (the course catalog with both classes available came in the mail), I signed up for both of them. They met on consecutive days.
After the second week, I realized it was just too much on my plate. I was more tired than usual and losing two evenings a week cut into my ability to ‘get stuff done.’ More to the point, I was not there for Max. Even though he is fourteen, coming home to an empty house is still coming home to an empty house.
We grow up hearing: “see it through”, “finish what you start”, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”, and my favorite – “quitters never win and winners never quit.” Any way you slice it, quitting something is the wrong thing to do, it seems. So I was concerned about the example I may be setting for Max if I stopped going to the classes.
But I was even more concerned about the example I’d be setting if I continued. Just for those few weeks I was more stressed, and so much more likely to fly off the handle at Max for smaller and smaller things. He probably felt like he was getting bumped further and further down my priority list. My night classes were not working out for Max.
The first night I stayed home from the class, Max sat down with me. He talked to me about his school day, about his cat, about his homework. Just an ordinary conversation, but one he could never have had with me if I wasn’t home. I guess there is a reason why we also grow up hearing that you can quit something for good.
Have you ever overloaded your plate? How did you handle it? What was the best decision for you?
I have had a similar experience. I was in grad school online and working and it just wasn’t working. The program I was in didn’t have any clear benefits and all the problems just didn’t make it worthwhile. It was the first thing I ever “quit” or stopped doing and it really was hard for me, but the best situation. Good for you for making the best decision for your family!
Hi Rikki, Thanks for weighing in. I can certainly appreciate the ambivalence you felt in this situation! We both did the right thing for our kids. And I think older kids and teens still prefer to have their parent (s) available, given the choice. Sometimes just being there has a big impact.
You were brave to give it a shot, but you made the right decision to back out for now. In only a very short amount of time, your Max will be all grown up and out of the home. You will still be able to take classes then! And, in the meantime, consider an online class – although not always a piece of cake either but you are at least in the house and can cozy up next to him with your laptop – maybe just one class at the time…. And he could even give you pointers, I bet! Don’t feel bad for bagging this first attempt at the classes – you have your priorities STRAIGHT, whereas SO many folks don’t these days. In my book – KIDS COME FIRST!!!
Hi Paula, thanks for your comment. I appreciate your support of my decision. I never really felt ok about going ahead with those classes. Even if Max is 14 and has a cat for company, I think he’d prefer me to be at home. And as long as he is still with me, I think he deserves to have me available to him as much as possible. That’s kinda the essence of parenting, isn’t it? Being there for your kid?