Karen Holder

I’m Karen, a stay-at-home mom of two girls, one 16 and the other 18. While I know it’s unusual for a mom to still be out of the work force with kids these ages (especially when the money would really come in handy!), I think it’s been the right choice for our family. It’s nice to be available to the teens during the day and to be able to keep an eye on things during those afternoon hours. (Can you hear my girls gagging and groaning while they’re reading that?!) I am a constant embarrassment to my kids in so many ways…the things I wear, say, do, like. I am so skilled at embarrassing them that I don’t even have to try hard at it. I’m hoping someday they’ll look back and think of me as fun and spunky and creative rather than just horribly strange. I love all things creative and crafty, spicy food, diet soda (possibly love to the point of addiction?), fresh paint, and casual clothes. I hate doing laundry, attending meetings, and getting dressed up. (If I’m wearing heels and a dress, there’s probably either a wedding or a funeral!) If you’re looking for someone who’s an expert parent who has all the right answers, you might want to read someone else’s posts. But if you’re looking for someone who is out there struggling every day to get it right, I’m your girl.

karen-holder

Keeping an Eye on Social Media

The state of social media when I was a teen...

I think all of us who are parenting teens have had this talk with our kids.  We’ve told them to be careful what they put out there on the internet.  We’ve warned them that they should be careful what they type because it can’t be taken back once it’s sent.  And we’ve all been given that look by our teens…the one that indicates they think we’re old, paranoid, and killers of their joy.

When we warn them that the stuff they send via text, twitter, Facebook, and the rest of the social media avenues can harm their chances for college entry and future jobs, they give us more of the same.  Mine remind me that they can control who sees what.  Then I say they can’t control what the chosen people share and pass on.  And I get that look from them again.

Sound familiar?

Well, my husband pointed out a story the other day that proved my point.  It seems there was a very good high school football player (so good he was being recruited by some big universities to play for them) who sent out some very off-color messages on twitter.  I found an article that showed some of his tweets and they were truly offensive.  He included racial slurs, bad language, and sexual comments.  He crossed the lines in so many ways with his remarks.  I guess he figured only his twitter followers would see them, forgetting that there were lots of followers and they were available to be viewed online by others as well.

The long and the short of the story is that some of the schools that were recruiting him decided not to based on those tweets.  And they said so.  And his private high school expelled him for the unbecoming conduct.  He didn’t lose all his prospects and it looks like he will be playing college ball after all.  But his social media behavior did limit his choices.  And he got a lot of negative attention and those tweets won’t go away.  Ever.

I guess my point in writing this is to remind parents that regardless of the eye-rolling we encounter from our teens, we do need to keep giving them those reminders.  And we need to keep monitoring our teens’ social media behavior and insisting they behave up to a certain standard.  Some of the things I’ve run across on Facebook are pretty shocking.  Kids are talking about partying, sex, and all sorts of things that don’t need to be out there for all to see.  I’ve seen big fights play out via status updates and comments, with all the mud-slinging and character assassinations out there for all to see.

It’s a whole new world out there for our teens where they have a chance to broadcast their business in the blink of an eye.  And it’s one more thing for parents of teens to monitor.

Do you keep an eye on your kids’ social media habits?

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