Making a Success of Failure
Way back in my college days, I had a professor who told us if she were hiring for a job and had two candidates who were equal in every other way, but one had straight A’s in school and the other had one D, she’d hire the one with the D. Her reasoning was that we learned from our struggles and failures. I’ve often thought about that statement, and have to agree. There is a certain knowledge and humility that comes from difficulty.
I read an article recently that backed up that wise professor’s theory. Titled, “The Success of Failure: Pulitzer Prize Winner’s Surprising Road to the Top,” it tells the story of a writer who has to go through numerous drafts before completing a novel she is happy with. It also tells the stories of other successful professionals who have met failure along the way. And under the headline there are short profiles of well-known and highly successful people, including Abraham Lincoln, George Clooney, and Fred Astaire, who were rejected, defeated, and unliked along their journey.
As our teens work their way through high school and grow into adults, they are sure to have failures along the way. Some will be large. Some will be small. But each one can be an opportunity for learning and growth and creative problem solving. As parents, part of our job is to reprimand our teen when they have failed because they didn’t do the work required to succeed. But part of our job ( the part I often forget about!) is to hel our teens find the lessons in their failure.
I have personally had plenty of failures n my forty-six year of life. Sometimes it’s taken lots of time for me to realize the lessons in those mistakes. Sometimes the lessons have helped me to do better the second time around. Sometimes the mistakes have helped me to be more understanding with others. Sometimes the failures force me to use my creativity to fix things. And sometimes the real lesson is that I can stand up after the failure, dust myself off, and move on.
What lessons can you find in failure and how do you teach your teens about them?
Hi Karen, I have to agree with the fact that you learn a lot from failure. I just finished a blog on “poor parental showmanship” and in my blog I talk about losing at a sport. It’s not always bad to lose because it can make a young person humble. Sometimes being perfect and always winning can make a person unappreciative and a “show off.” Failure is good and teaches some really good life lessons. After all, life is not fair and definitely not perfect!
You’re so right, Tia. I hate those days when I have a disappointed teen after a competition, but eventually she bounces back and I hear the lessons come out. Can’t wait to read your latest post on the subject.
By the way, how appropriate that I noticed my typos in this post. Talk about failure and humility and learning from your mistakes!