Nicole Davies

Hello! My name is Nicole and I am a Marine spouse and mother of three daughters, ages 16, 10, and 7. I have been a stay-at-home mom most of their lives while also pursuing my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In the past I have worked as a social worker for child welfare in the state of Pennsylvania. I have also taught preschool for ages 2.5 - 4. During my master’s program I interned as a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital working with adults, teens, and kids. My ultimate goal is to become an independently licensed therapist. Our family has lived in Onslow County for 10 of the last 15 years, which has given my children a stability that is rare among military families. While NC has been my home for several years now, I am still a Yankee at heart! I will always choose a Philly cheesesteak over a pulled-pork sandwich. In addition to taking care of my family and my educational pursuits, I enjoy traveling to destinations near and far; a novel in which I can get lost; and chatting with friends over a good cup of coffee.

mj-vieweg

Boys to Men and Back Again

Small to tall in a blink of an eye!

Some days it seems as though my boys have grown literally overnight. Both of them are hitting 5’7” so far and there is two years between them! When the boys were preschoolers, I could tell they were gearing up for a growth spurt because they seemed to sleep longer. Somehow these teen growth spurts take me by surprise. The other day I found myself reaching UP to give Max, my youngest at thirteen, a hug. I’m 5’2” in bare feet, by the way.

Along with the height acceleration comes the changing of the voices. One day I heard the familiar flute-like voices and the next I was alarmed because I did not recognize the deep voice I heard  upstairs. I thought it belonged to a man. A strange man? In my house?

Not too long ago I took a call at work from a colleague in another office and thought he was my oldest son, Gus. He wondered why I lead off with “Did you clean your room, yet?”

But I am not completely broken up about it the evidence of their growing up and over me. I don’t have to make towers out of kitchen chairs and phone books to reach the top cupboard shelves anymore. And I always have one of them with me when I get groceries so I don’t have to step on the bottom shelf to reach the top one. It is easier to find clothes for them now that they wear men sizes, too.

But as they move toward adulthood, I find I’ve entered a different stage as a mother. What the boys need from me now is different from what they needed from me when they were younger. We are figuring that out together. Sometimes I have to let go and sometimes they have to give in.

Have other parents recognized moving into a different stage of parenting?

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2 Comments on “Boys to Men and Back Again”

  • Tia Bandavanis June 21st, 2011 12:17 pm

    Hi Mj, I remember back when my son was all about airplanes, trucks, and green plastic army men. Now that he is 15, boy things have changed. You are right about the fact that now your son has moved toward adulthood, your role as a mother changes. It is a process requiring both mom and son to get through the many challenging times. But in the end, their love is so wonderful : )

  • Mj Vieweg June 22nd, 2011 9:41 am

    Hi Tia, Thanks for weighing in. Parenting can be the greatest (and most rewarding) challenge most of us will face. We grow along with our kids!

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