Nicole Davies

Hello! My name is Nicole and I am a Marine spouse and mother of three daughters, ages 16, 10, and 7. I have been a stay-at-home mom most of their lives while also pursuing my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In the past I have worked as a social worker for child welfare in the state of Pennsylvania. I have also taught preschool for ages 2.5 - 4. During my master’s program I interned as a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital working with adults, teens, and kids. My ultimate goal is to become an independently licensed therapist. Our family has lived in Onslow County for 10 of the last 15 years, which has given my children a stability that is rare among military families. While NC has been my home for several years now, I am still a Yankee at heart! I will always choose a Philly cheesesteak over a pulled-pork sandwich. In addition to taking care of my family and my educational pursuits, I enjoy traveling to destinations near and far; a novel in which I can get lost; and chatting with friends over a good cup of coffee.

tia-bandavanis

An Adventure at the Beach

Taking three teenage boys to the beach is quite the adventure and something I bravely undertook last week. For the most part the boys kept busy swimming and playing football on the beach. However,  every time a teenage girl would walk by all you could hear  was, “Hi, my friend thinks you’re beautiful, can he get your number?”  This was clearly the pick up line for the day.

The response was almost always a dirty look.  After watching this for a while, I suggested to the boys that they try a different approach that might help them get more than just nasty looks. Did I do the right thing? Well, I feel as though teaching my teen to be respectful of women and not so forward is the right thing to do.  Therefore, I suggested saying, ” Hi, How are you?”

I told them this sounds better than lashing out with, “Can I get your phone number?” Was it corny to suggest this?  I often wonder about the best way to handle these situations?  On one hand I want to teach my son respect, but other times I wonder if maybe I should just stay out of  it.  I’m not really sure which is best, but I know for a fact what they were doing at first didn’t seem to work.

They tried my approach and the girls stuck around to watch them play football.  I guess offering up some advice wasn’t so bad after all.  Our ride home from the beach was yet another crazy teen moment.  Every time we would pass someone in the car, the boys thought it was funny to make faces and noises.  Drove me crazy!  They quickly knocked it off after my parent voice projected out. Wow, it made me think back to my teen years and I remember being in the car and screaming out the window. Back then I thought it was funny and cool. How immature and now to think my son is acting the same way. Reality check………

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7 Comments on “An Adventure at the Beach”

  • Angela July 31st, 2011 9:01 pm

    Stupid, teenagers like me don’t need parents like you to teach them manners or to be respectful, I have those qualities and I learned them when I was a kid. Leave your teenage boy alone, he will learn by himself, teens like me in high school are too old for that, just show authority, not quidence, we’re not retarded, remember that, unless your son is retarded, then I don’t see the point, stop obsessing over your son.

  • Dave October 24th, 2011 7:49 am

    Angela, you have issues.

  • tia October 24th, 2011 5:23 pm

    Hi Dave, My name is Tia and I wrote this blog. I respect everyone’s outlook on the blogs I write. I try to be open minded due to the fact many of us have different thoughts and feelings on different issues. I stand strong and firm with the fact that my son will learn how to respect women. Thank you for your comment. Take Care, Tia

  • Steve Janas December 15th, 2011 11:41 am

    Your advice certainly sounded right on to me, and since the girls wound up sticking around to watch your son and his friends play football, I guess that proves the validity of what you had to say.

  • tia December 15th, 2011 9:10 pm

    Hi Steve, Thanks for agreeing with me! Respect is a very important value in life. I try to do my best making sure my son is most respectful. Thanks Again, Tia

  • Bill Mercer April 6th, 2012 9:34 am

    Learning the value of respect and sensibility in all situations is never relegated to specifics, it is necessary whenever the need arises. It’s our responsibility to our kids. Way to go Tia!

  • tia April 22nd, 2012 7:40 pm

    Thanks Bill, I totally agree!

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