Nicole Davies

Hello! My name is Nicole and I am a Marine spouse and mother of three daughters, ages 16, 10, and 7. I have been a stay-at-home mom most of their lives while also pursuing my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In the past I have worked as a social worker for child welfare in the state of Pennsylvania. I have also taught preschool for ages 2.5 - 4. During my master’s program I interned as a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital working with adults, teens, and kids. My ultimate goal is to become an independently licensed therapist. Our family has lived in Onslow County for 10 of the last 15 years, which has given my children a stability that is rare among military families. While NC has been my home for several years now, I am still a Yankee at heart! I will always choose a Philly cheesesteak over a pulled-pork sandwich. In addition to taking care of my family and my educational pursuits, I enjoy traveling to destinations near and far; a novel in which I can get lost; and chatting with friends over a good cup of coffee.

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My Favorite Number…NOT!

I was a math minor in college. I used to have a love for the numbers. But lately I am quite tired of hearing about one particular number. Prepare yourself because I am going to rant a bit about the number 18.

I have told my girls many times not to insert their ages into any argument with me. I know how old they are. I was there when they were born, after all, and I have been the one to either bake or buy every birthday cake since then and I’ve bought all the presents and planned all the celebrations. I know how old you are, ladies. Don’t try to use your age in an argument about what you would like to do.

My current least favorite number is 18, as I said. I have alternately looked forward and dreaded my oldest turning 18.  It’s pretty exciting to hit that number in life where the world at large calls you an adult. And it’s a milestone as a parent to see your daughter hit that mark, I guess.  But to me it is nothing but a number.  All it really means is that you can check yourself out of school without my permission if you want (but not back in…you need me for that…and it won’t be an excused absence unless I say so!) and you can vote.  In my opinion, and mine is the one that matters at this point more than your own, 18 year old, you need to back up that number with the ability to support yourself before the number of your age means too much.

I have tried to warn my daughters along the way that no number assigned to their age would be some sort of magic that meant that they could do as they pleased.  The old phrase, “my house, my rules,” is still in force while my daughters are living under my roof or under the umbrella of my complete financial support.  As long as you live in my house, you will need to let me know of your comings and goings and not leave me worried.  As long as I am paying for your car, your insurance, your clothes, your shelter, food, and whatnot, you will be following the rules of the house.  And whatever number is assigned to your years on this earth will not trump that fact. I am fully aware of your age and it means nothing in the context of an argument with me.

When you turn any particular age, you may earn some new freedoms we’ve attached to that age.  Remember when you turned 16 and you knew that was the age where you’d be allowed to go on a date?  But remember that we also reserved the right to tell you no to a particular person, place, or event?  18 is no different.  You do have certain freedoms, but we have the last word.

Rant over.  Unless you’d like to add to it…

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7 Comments on “My Favorite Number…NOT!”

  • Bill Mercer May 3rd, 2011 9:43 am

    How should I be feeling about the number 50?

  • Karen May 3rd, 2011 10:21 am

    I think you should feel pretty good about 50, right? You don’t throw the number around to try to get your way, do you? Either way, you’re not arguing with me, so 50 is great!

  • Another Milestone Birthday | RealiTeen May 5th, 2011 2:35 pm

    [...] long as we’re talking numbers, let’s talk about 16.  But don’t worry.  I’m not feeling irritated about this number right [...]

  • Paula Patselas May 6th, 2011 9:22 am

    I completely agree with your proclamations! I catch your drift on the probable issue at hand with one turning 18; the great feeling of entitlement and rights that is the common disease of most of the teens I know, including all three of mine. I say, “Out with entitlement – IN with responsibility, ownership of actions and application of some elbow grease and work ethic!!! Don’t get me started on this one!!!

  • Karen May 6th, 2011 12:39 pm

    Oops, Paula, didn’t mean to get you started. But I’m glad to know I’m not in this alone!

  • Gus September 29th, 2012 5:06 pm

    Eighteen is an aesthetically pleasing number. By the juxtaposition of the linearity of the “one” as opposed to the radically different circular curves of the “eight”, this number is bound to give anyone of any age untold satisfaction nonpareil.

  • Karen September 29th, 2012 5:16 pm

    This is an old post! Yes, 18 has a very pleasing shape. But still no sway in an argument with mom!

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