Nicole Davies

Hello! My name is Nicole and I am a Marine spouse and mother of three daughters, ages 16, 10, and 7. I have been a stay-at-home mom most of their lives while also pursuing my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In the past I have worked as a social worker for child welfare in the state of Pennsylvania. I have also taught preschool for ages 2.5 - 4. During my master’s program I interned as a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital working with adults, teens, and kids. My ultimate goal is to become an independently licensed therapist. Our family has lived in Onslow County for 10 of the last 15 years, which has given my children a stability that is rare among military families. While NC has been my home for several years now, I am still a Yankee at heart! I will always choose a Philly cheesesteak over a pulled-pork sandwich. In addition to taking care of my family and my educational pursuits, I enjoy traveling to destinations near and far; a novel in which I can get lost; and chatting with friends over a good cup of coffee.


Where are all the regular sized waitresses?

Recently, the girls and I went out to have lunch at a local restaurant in Jacksonville. No, it was not the one that is known to have “certain waitresses,” but just another regular dining facility. While there, Soraya noticed that all of the waitresses were extremely small. She wondered if the restaurant had any regular sized waitresses since we didn’t see any. She then asked me if that was one of the criteria to being a waitress. I wanted to say no, it’s based on how well you do the job, but let’s face it people…it’s not always just based on how well you do the job. Because we do not live in a perfect world, how you look and the size that you are does hold some baring on the jobs you get, especially service jobs.

When I took a diversity class in school, I heard some of the most blatant forms of classism, ageism, and my new word “beauty-ism.” We are definitely in a world that places emphasis on our size and how much Max Factor a woman can wear at one time. I find myself having these kinds of conversations with my daughters all the time. I know it’s never going to change, but hopefully when my kids are of age and if they’re ever in a position of power, they will have learned that quality is first and foremost.

Soraya is not a skinny girl, nor is she a fat girl. She has an athletic body type and is a normal size for a girl her age, in my opinion. It just kind of bothered me for her to notice such a thing and feel as though it’s possible that she can’t get a job at this particular restaurant because of her size.

Do you think waitresses should be a certain size to work?

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One Comment on “Where are all the regular sized waitresses?”

  • Paula Patselas March 2nd, 2011 4:09 pm

    No, they should not have to fit the “skinny mold” to land a waitress position; a person, male or female should be competent, confident, conservatively dressed,well groomed and polite; and be willing to perform the task at hand or be willing to train to learn the job. Obviously the bias remains in our society and is hard to overcome; the media is CONSUMED by looks/ sex/ crime/ violence/ competition etc… and the whole perfect body image concept dominates! Conversely, look at the huge percentage of folks in our society who are obese, which has significant implications re: health problems and cost of health care related to health complications associated with obesity. So, the idea in terms of skinny vs obese is a happy medium in the middle where one is simply healthy at whatever their weight.

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