At Odds With My Youngest Teen
My Lydia
That particular teen would be Lydia, age 151/2 – need I say more? The impasse has been in play now for several days and is turning out to be a battle of wills – between Mom and teen daughter.
Actually, this territory has thus far been somewhat uncharted with the two of us. Lydia, being the youngest, the “baby”, has always been a mama’s girl – I mean very literally, a mama’s girl to the highest order. To this day, she prefers me over her Dad, or anyone else for anything! She becomes unglued if her Dad picks her up from dance class (rather than me). In most instances, for most everything she needs, it has to be me! When she is away from me, such as at school or with her multitude of friends, she is absolutely independent, self-assured and happy as can be. But the very minute I am back in the picture or even close proximity, it becomes only Mom who can soothe and suffice.
So, the push and pull of teen emotions and psyche over the last few months have begun to unravel the comfort zone of mommy and youngest daughter. That is, I believe she is trying to grow away from me but at the same time, cling onto me still in some ways. It must be confusing, heart wrenching and downright scary even. I am only trying in my own mind to rationalize how she can be a sweet cuddly, “I love you Mommy” girl in one moment and a wicked, moody, emotional, “leave me alone” creature the next.
Apply this waxing and waning to real time several times throughout a single day and I am rubbing my forehead and looking for the Tylenol. This is a bit new to me as Kass, my oldest never exhibited any of these features at all and well, of course, Austin is his own completely separate fusion of antics.
Currently, Lydia is taking me for a ride…. and I am trying to keep my cool; let her get it all out and trying not to over-react, which is what she is trying to elicit in me. She has alot of her plate, as if being a teenager isn’t enough. She is a good student, a good kid, trustworthy, reliable, mostly compliant and very talented. She has been dancing for 13 years at the same dance studio; performs and competes in dance competitions and is currently dancing in the upcoming high school musical. She is burning the candle at both ends literally and has to be feeling the physical drain by now. I am trying to sympathize and be supportive, but also find myself at the end of the rope some days dealing with her moods, emotional swings, impatience, demands and even unkind words.
A mother’s love is all-encompassing – what else can I do?
Both of my teens (now college graduate and college student) were active in the high school musical for their entire high school years. Each year, we would await the “musical meltdown..” They are working very hard and are under a lot of pressure that exerts itself in the weeks just prior to performance. I always said that I was suffering for their art! This two shall pass!