Nicole Davies

Hello! My name is Nicole and I am a Marine spouse and mother of three daughters, ages 16, 10, and 7. I have been a stay-at-home mom most of their lives while also pursuing my Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. In the past I have worked as a social worker for child welfare in the state of Pennsylvania. I have also taught preschool for ages 2.5 - 4. During my master’s program I interned as a therapist at an inpatient psychiatric hospital working with adults, teens, and kids. My ultimate goal is to become an independently licensed therapist. Our family has lived in Onslow County for 10 of the last 15 years, which has given my children a stability that is rare among military families. While NC has been my home for several years now, I am still a Yankee at heart! I will always choose a Philly cheesesteak over a pulled-pork sandwich. In addition to taking care of my family and my educational pursuits, I enjoy traveling to destinations near and far; a novel in which I can get lost; and chatting with friends over a good cup of coffee.


Friends in Black and White; Are there limits?

Lately, the kids have been telling me stories about racism in their school. It first started with Scootie telling me about a young boy who is in the same grade as he is, which is the 6th grade. The young man always throws racial slurs against all races and it makes Scoot feel really uncomfortable. He wants to consider him as his friend, but the comments the boy makes really aggravate and upset him. Since the boy is confrontational, Scoot decides to just leave it alone. My advice to him was that if anyone makes him feel uncomfortable, he doesn’t have to have that person as his friend.

The biggest issue, however, came with Soraya and her dear white friend. The white friend thought that because the two of them were good friends, it would be alright for her to call Soraya the N word. She meant it in a friendly way, I guess, but immediately Soraya told her that she didn’t have any right to call her by that name and that would be her first and last time using that word. She told her friend that she doesn’t allow anyone to call her that, and surely wasn’t going to allow a friend to do it. The young lady thought Soraya was just playing until she saw the look on Soraya’s face.  The friend then jokingly said, “well I can say that because I am full blood Native American.” I’m proud t say my Ray didn’t back down; she just stated that she didn’t care what she was and she had better not make that mistake again because it was hurtful and rude.

It was so funny that Soraya told me that story because when I used to substitute middle school, I would tell all the young African American boys not to call each other by that name. I told them that when other races see and hear that, they’re going to think its okay for them to do it as well. Next thing you know, there’s going to be a fight and for what?

Hopefully it’s a problem we can stop soon enough!

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2 Comments on “Friends in Black and White; Are there limits?”

  • paula pATSELAS December 19th, 2010 9:51 pm

    Hi Tawana,
    Sounds like your kids have their heads on right! Keep up the good parenting! It is completely amazing and many times shocking to hear what comes out of the mouths of our teen babes these days. Just last night as I drove home a car load of girls from a sporting event, I found myself interveneing to remind them to be aware of how some of the stuff coming out of their mouths sounds and ask them to give greater consideration of the implications of some of their “lingo” and how it may make someone feel! Sometimes I just think they are NOT thinking!

  • bill mercer December 22nd, 2010 5:25 am

    The kid with the racial slurs is a direct reflection of his parents. True education begins at home. Sounds like you are doing a good job.

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