Paula Patselas

I have now been blogging for Realiteen for almost two years and have thoroughly enjoyed the experience to share the ebb and flow of life with three teens in the house. I am well seasoned with the teen scene, but learn something new and exciting almost every day still. I am blessed to be the very proud mom of three teens: Kassiane, 17; Austin, 16; and Lydia, 15. Yes, you read correctly – stair step teens. They were once 1, 2 and 3, if you can only imagine. That part seems like a blur now – thank goodness for photos and video. It has all happened so quickly and now they are in 10th, 11th and 12th grades. One of the first thoughts that now comes to mind when I tell someone their ages is that they will graduate from high school three years running; and of course, that means beginning college three years running, too. That means three cars, three more insurance policies, oh the horrors. We will cross those bridges soon enough. For now, the household is bustling; even teaming with activity and commotion and that is putting it politely. The “we” I mention includes my husband, Doctor Tim, who is a general surgeon, and practices with Onslow Surgical Clinic. It goes almost without saying, he is a very busy husband/dad. The great news is that he is a very involved, hands-on kind of dad and always has been. He comes home, rolls up his sleeves and pitches in with whatever needs to be done to manage the group. Early on we realized that we would have our hands full and being that there are three of “them” and two of “us”, the odds were against us. It has been a challenge keeping our ship afloat and keeping the kids steered, but always a joy and we would have never had it any other way. I am a real multi-tasking mom, too, with quite a few irons in the fire. I am a registered nurse, since 1982, with a clinical background in trauma and critical care nursing. In recent years, my focus has been in nursing education at Onslow Memorial Hospital; however, during the past two years, I have also been working PRN(filling in as needed), in out-patient clinics at the Naval Hospital and MCAS. The flexibility of PRN works great with managing the busy schedules of the teens, yet allows me to keep connected with my profession. I also volunteer in their schools and for the past three years have been helping to re-invent the Onslow County Medical Society Alliance, a physician spouses’ organization. I’ve also been a long standing soccer mom, an avid gardener and love to cook. When I say, never a dull moment – it truly means, NEVER a dull moment. I look forward to more blogging and sharing about life with the stair step teens. Stay tuned!

bill-mercer

Young John

I recently wrote about expectations and how our children perceive themselves through our leadership. This article is about putting my “money where my mouth is”. I fortunately have a pretty easy subject in my son John.

John is a natural leader. I expect great things from him.  How to define “great things” is impossible. I think we know it when we see it. When you are a young person it doesn’t always show up, it marinates. Not that I think of him in terms of food but I could.. “eat him up”.

John has always been a joy to be around. He is likable and good looking and normally carries himself as a young gentleman. I have had some good reports on him and his siblings over the years. He ain’t even close to perfect, but I don’t expect that, of course. All the reports haven’t been good and they are constantly being checked, I assure you. In the overall picture though, I like what I see and hear. I expect him to be polite AND behave. There is a big difference.

Today for instance, Drew and I are hanging out at the house, enjoying various forms of doing nothing. John is out in the Atlantic Ocean in a fishing tournament with his Uncle Stan. He is the appointed “Captain” for this tourney, a gift from his Uncle. He is with three grown men and I know they are having a good time in fellowship if nothing else. John is very comfortable in that environment and that is why he is there. He has always been able to say no if something doesn’t seem quite right. So has Drew.  Molly and I are still working on that. That is one quality of leadership.

John loves God.  John is a good student and I expect him to be a better one. He is a wonderful son, brother, grandson and nephew. He has good friends. He is a good handyman. Not that he can fix just anything but that he tries. He is very curious. The boy has a heart made of cotton and a tough hide to go with it.  John and Drew are best friends and always have been. They are true brothers. I am absolutely in love with him. You see, I am very aware of what lies ahead of him and that he can control much of his own destiny. It is not easy nor should it be. As his “great” Uncle Clifton said, “you write your own ticket”. I see him laying the foundation for a splendid life and I cherish the thoughts of being his friend for the rest of my life. I am confident that he is going to keep evolving and improving and learning. I expect him to. Talk to you soon.

Do you think elevating your expectations is a good idea?

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